Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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