im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
