Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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