I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
