If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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