We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Boobs are out for the taking
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
