ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Drake has all the answers
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
