does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
