i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
As shirtless as possible
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize