its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Randomize