he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
