i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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