Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
only if we run a train.
done.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Is it penis luge time yet?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
