watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
only you would photoshop your dick
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
