thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
