so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
