i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
