listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Floor bacon is actually really good
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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