whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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