just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
