Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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