Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
