Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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