the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
