so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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