Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
