I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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