Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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