I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
