physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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