We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
