We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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