you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
