I want to walk on stilts...naked
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize