Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
