new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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