Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
