Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What a dumb baby whore.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
