I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
