Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
