brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
