come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
