You smell like a Billy Joel song
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
