i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
