You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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