Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
