She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she woke up with a sticky ear
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Randomize
