he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
