wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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