I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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