do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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