I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
