Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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