K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
