how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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