is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
