i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
