I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
