Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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