thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Houston, we have a blender
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
