He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
